Bla Bla Blog

I've now been a blogger for several years (ok, not consistently, until recently anyhow) and I must admit, I haven't a clue how to get anyone to notice, let alone respond to me on here. I suppose I could post a pic of me in the buff - but then I said notice, not throw up on me (albeit virtually.) Then too, I could send out a link in my emails to friends and family, but they already know pretty much all this stuff about me (other than maybe my threat to post nekked pics. And I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want to actually see that!) *Sigh* I want new blood! But I'm no vampire - so what do I do?

I'm thinking about how very middlin', muddlin average I feel, nothing special, just kinda ho-hum. (Not to insult the billions of other average joes and janes out there by comparison...just sulking a little, feeling a bit invisible and whining about it, since - you guessed it - no one will see me whine here anyhow!) And so thinking about average got me off on another track - you know, not the fast track, not the slow track - just the average track, of course...

So, if anyone else out there has ever felt that same, bla feeling of ordinary, and - perhaps for lack of something more interesting to do? - wants to kill a few more minutes of their non-descript, mundane lives - please feel free to go along with me on this deeper look into what I can only (and probably erroniously) call the Law of Averages...

OK, now I have to wonder - where were we and what were we doing when we passed over that mythical equater of average, when we hit the changes between greater and lesser, bigger and smaller, brighter and darker, younger and older? Where is the middle ground, the axis, the exact center? When have we hit our middlest middle age, our most common average?

No one ever knows the answer to that question exactly, as it pertains to themselves - age-wise at least, because, of course, they have to die before they can do the math.

Unless they can predict. Even then they could only estimate, hoping, (I suppose) to come close. That wouldn’t take into account horrible accidents and other unforeseeable events. A person bent on taking their best shot at this this might well be advised to wait to start until s/he is well into his or her old age. And sure as taxes, no one will ever be able to verify - again, in their own case - complete accuracy on this account!
Besides, who really gives a royal rat’s bottom when the exact middlin is always changing anyhow, unless you’re flying 100% psychic...

We might be better off musing on some other midline, one where you don’t have to die to get the answer. I’m referring to where we fit in with that so-called law of averages - but then, am I still trying to figure out the answer to the unanswerable? In truth, can there really be such a thing as an average person? Looking at this from a mathematical perspective, as a group, we pretty much seem to be divided right down the middle - we all fit in one way or the other, by the slimmest or farthest of margins, swinging one side or the other of the mean, in whatever it is that we’re measuring. And in so many ways - for most of us, all ways - each of us must be above or below average in every single thing we do or think or say, on all levels. After all, who ever gets it exactly right in the middle, with exactly every thing, every time? Or even a little bit of it exactly average, a little bit of the time? To be exactly average does not seem possible. On a world-wide, geographic level, most of us are so far from average we can’t see the equator. On a human scale, many of us can’t even see our own wasteline. How can any of us be, strictly speaking, average?

Yet, when you average everyone’s everything, it all comes out pretty even-steven, equi-distant; run of the mill. No One and No Thing is striding the middle exactly. But as a unit, we all hover pretty closely.
I have this strange feeling about what might happen if any one person were to ever come to find himself in that mythical exact center of the universe, or simply, on our own planet, the exact average of everyone else in all things at any one particular point in time. For however brief a period of time it might last, such an event, if it did happen, surely must create just enough pressure in the universe for that unfortunately average Joe or Jane to simply... implode. (Ironically enough, a decidedly non-average thing to do.)

Of course, that is just my own personal little theory, but lately I’ve come to believe that it just might be possible that this may be why, every once in a great while, we hear tell of someone spontaneously combusting.
Serves them right for flaunting the law of averages!